Shock

Dear Mom,

Do you believe it? From the view you have, I bet you could see it coming.    We still have a lot of questions like: Why would a person get married in the church, take an vow to love your partner in good times and in the bad, in sickness and in health, and then decide you do not want to take care of your partner?  

We are all still in total and complete shock that Lydia would move out and leave Dad alone- again.  I never saw it coming.  The part that hurts worse is that I had taken her in as my bonus mom and even started teaching da boyz to call her Grammy. We accepted her and her family as our family.  And now she is gone. 

In her mind she is justified and has said that God is her judge not me or my sister.  Of course, her story is different from ours but you can see the truth from up there.  I know that all I do is for my dad- and that is to get him better. 

Times are definitely trying.  Caring around an extra 13 pounds of Bobbie (I am now 25 weeks pregnant.), holding a 20 pound Nate, on a sprained ankle has not been fun and quite exhausting. Coordinating hospital visitation, tutoring and homework, supper, and sleep time has challenged me and has taken a bit for me to adjust.  I went from no kids to three kids and one on the way.  I wonder how other moms manage and survive.  Is it only me that have these burdens?

The thing that keeps me sane is knowing that God will only give me what I can handle.  That gives me peace.  When I need rest, I will finally close my eyes to sleep.

You must only be seeing blue skies and temporary pain; while I see turmoil.  Please send our family peace and hope. I will remember your perseverance and strong will as we get Dad back up on his feet. 

I love you, Mom!

Barbie, #2