Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Bobby is 2 Months: Let it go

Roberto Albert Alaniz turned two months on June 15, 2016.  Bobby burps and throws up a after I feed him, which leaves me full of puck most of the time.  He is cooing and holding up his head.  At last check, he weighs 13 pounds and is 90% of other babies his age.  

Bobby is a blessing and my daily reminder of my father Roberto G. Rojas who passed away on June 3, 2016.

You may have noticed that I have not posted much these last few months.  It is because I have been taking care of my father since December.  His wife left him, I was pregnant, chasing a toddler around, and making sure the two older boys stayed on task.  To say the least, my life has been hectic.

This week I finally get to take a break and settle in to my new normal without my father.  He was my confidant and best friend. It is  hard to believe that I no longer have my mother and my father; and that my children will not know their grandparents. It is hard to be the executor of my father's will when there are hurt feelings with Dad's wife and when I am trying to mourn the loss of my father.

It is times like this that makes me feel like life is not fair.

I have to let go of the stress, let go of the hurt, and move on as best I can. There is something inside me that keeps me strong. When I believe I cannot go on and fight another battle, I see Bobby and he smiles. He is my reminder that it is possible, that anything is possible.  I need to let go of the hurt and move on.