Wednesday, December 17, 2014
One of the last days my mom went to work, I picked her up at her at her office located in the John Hornbeck building next to the Methodist Hospital. Her education background was a Licensed Vocational Nurse, then a cardiology technician, and finally a case manager. When mom started nursing she started using the name Mary because people would have a hard time with her given name of Guadalupe, it is a Spanish form of the Virgin Mary.
It was the week of Thanksgiving and she had dressed up wearing a fitted long blank skirt with a slit up the side. It may have been the skirt or the decreasing lack of leg strength, but she feel on the job. Her manager told her to go home.
I believe that Mom knew in her heart of hearts that this would be her last day of work. She stalled. She filed papers. She cleaned her desk. All the while, I rushed her so we could get to her doctors appointment on time. Later it occurred to me that she was stalling because she knew the doctors were going to give her news she did not want to hear. It was her way of trying to maintain normalcy while avoiding the inevitable.
Pregnancy is an emotional time especially when I am unable to celebrate the excitement with my mother. When mom passed away, I specifically remember thinking I want my mom to be around when I have a child. I want her nurse me through labor and give me words of wisdom in caring for my new baby. People tell me my mom is with me all the time, in all things. Like Nina (my step-mom) who threw a shower for me. I know mom is with me too. I dream of mom and see her in all things.
This past Saturday, I attending my birthing class. It was held in the John Hornbeck building. When my sister and I stepped off the elevator we both looked at each other and asked, I wonder where mom's office was. It was to the right.
To the left, was the classroom where the birthing class was being held. At first glass we did not catch the room name Guadalupe. But there it was plain as day. My birthing class was being held in a room name that was the same name as my mother's given name. My sister and I got chills for we both knew that mom was there with us. Mom is with me, if not physically but spiritually.
Off the topic of mom...
While in class, Babyboy had the hiccups twice. It is fun little video to keep for my memories.
Friday, December 5, 2014
Not being able to sleep is nature’s cruel joke that she plays on pregnant women. You would think it would be the other way around allowing pregnant women a more comfortable time to sleep all she wants before her baby is born. Now more than ever I am feeling very pregnant, uncomfortable, waddling, and tired. BabyBoy is constantly moving, flipping, and doing tricks in my belly. Even though it is not time, I am so ready to get this baby out of me.
Here I am at week 33 with 7 more weeks to go. I had an ultra sound this morning and they say BabyBoy is about 4 pounds, give or take a pound. I was able to see him yawn and move non-stop. Braxton Hicks Contractions are happening more frequently and for hours at a time. Yet another example of nature’s way of getting me used to labor pain. I have all the normal aches and pain that pregnant women experience. My doctor tells me my pregnancy is normal and really almost perfect (her words).
To pass the time and attempt to get more comfortable, I worked out on my bike. Yes I really did this during week #32. This is the bike that I rode across America and I propped it on my trainer. It brought me back to the days when I was training during cold days to get ready for those century miles. If anything, it made me feel mentally better and my legs got their pedal on. I cannot wait to be able to be on my bike and back on the road but now with a baby in tow.
Friday, November 21, 2014
Last weekend my parents went out of town to visit my step-sister in California. While they were out of town, I was responsible for making sure my 90 year old grandfather, Popo, was taken care of. Since he is 90 years old, he does not walk any more and is confined to a wheel chair. Basicly, my duties were to ensure he had his meals and that anything he needed was where he could reach from his wheelchair.
Popo is super cool. Back in his day he was a player, drank too much, and smoked, AND- he is 90 years old to tell about it. Yes, he gets confused between 1 AM and 1 PM but hey, he IS 90 years old. These days he is s-l-o-w and you have to have to wait for his pearls of wisdom. With much patients, you will get some real insight on life and relationships. He can totally read people and know what is going on in their life before a word is said.
Recently, we had a 90 year old birthday party for Popo. He always tells us that his birthday is just another day and he does not want to celebrate. But, this year we had a small house party for him. After he blew out his candle he said, “This was the best birthday ever”! Though the pictures does not look like it, Popo had a good time and was the life of the party. This really is a picture of him smiling.
All those years he took care of me as a todler, now I get to take care of him.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
This week I will be 30 weeks along and I still cannot comprehend how I could get any bigger. It is hard to imagine that a human is growing inside me. Each day I cherish all the kicks and punches from BabyBoy and I enjoy the playful nudges that we give each other. Most of my day is filled with music and every day I change the genera to give BabyBoy an eclectic experience. As soon as the music starts, he seems to start moving to the beat.
When I tell people how active I am they always seems to give me the crazy eyes look. My running miles are more run/walk miles (153.5), my bike miles are miles on a stationary bike (509.6), and swimming is 13.1 miles. My mile log is accumulating miles for the year, about half that of last year. At the suggestion of my chiropractor, I have officially stopped running, since I hurt my lower back too bad last week. It also seemed like a good time to stop running since I was asking, very seriously, if I could pee on myself when I ran. The pros do it, why can't a pregnant gal do it?
We took these family pictures at the end of the summer when I was about 20 weeks along. My shirt reads, "This gal is having a baby". Da misters shirt reads, "This guy is the dad." Jon's shirt says, "I am the biggest big brother," and Joe's reads, "I am the big brother." In retrospect, the white color made it hard to photograph and I bought my shirt before I knew the sex of BabyBoy. Either way, da boyz are excited about having a baby in the house and often ask, "Can I sleep next to the baby" and "Can the baby sit next to me in the car". I have started having da boyz read baby books to BabyBoy so he can start learning their voices.
I am filled with so much excitement and anticipation for when BabyBoy arrives. I want to meet my baby and see what he looks like. I want to indulge in too many adult beverages. And lastly, I cannot wait to be able to get back on my road bike to feel the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
If you know Jack's, Roxy is very hyper and requires lots of play time. When she gets board, she will start chewing on her paws. More recently, she was chewing on her right paw. You can see the scab in the below picture. To help keep her active and to stop chewing on herself, I have been running her one to three miles a day. A month later, she is still chewing on herself. Finally, I broke down and took her to the vet.
It turns out that Roxy has seasonal allergies. Really?! Does that really happen to dogs?! A steroid shot, antibiotics, and $200 vet bill later, I was told to give Roxy weekly baths with an oatmeal based shampoo. Two weeks later, it looks like her scab is healing nicely and Roxy is back to her usual self.
For the past week, Roxy has been looking out the back window. I find her there at all hours of the day and night. Two weekends ago, she cornered a possum and da mister had to intervene to break up the chaos. This past week, we found the remnants of a squirrel upstairs. The squirrel carcass is not pictured, only the tail.
To date, that makes (that I have seen in my house):
Roxy 2 and birds 0
Roxy 1 and squire 0
Roxy 3 and lizards 0
Now with BabyBoy on the way, I have been reading up on how to tell Roxy that there is be a baby on the way. She cuddles next to my belly bump and sniffs out his nursery but the truth will be when we bring BabyBoy home. Even then, I do not think the Roxy excitement will stop any time soon.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Now that I am pushing 40 with a bun in the oven, I have an ever growing desire to feel young, look young, and do what young people do. It totally made scene to me to turn to social media. I heard that the young folk stopped Facebooking and Tweeting and now Instagram. So what do you know, I am now on Instagram. (As I get more “with it” I plan to continue using BarbieandherBike) I am fascinated with #technology because within a day, my home page knew that I liked dogs, yoga, bike riding, beach vacations, sunsets/sunrises, and was pregnant. #WhattheWhat?!
Shortly after, I started following a yoga instructor who posted pictures of herself nine months prego is full expression poses, and I was like, “I can so do that despite society telling me to slow my activity down.” The more I learned about her the more I learned about #LandonsLegacy. As the story goes, she lost her baby shortly after he was born. She shares her inspiration and grief with amazing bravery.
Her story hits so close to home. How would I ever deal with this same situation? Would God really punish me again with the loss of my baby and the loss of my mother? Our struggles are not always fair but it is what we are given.
Everyday I get more sucked into the details of her life. Social media has a way of doing this. She says she is reading the book Signs of Life: A Memoir. Yes, another book recommendation that I added to my collection. True to what she ways, I cannot put the book down. It is about a five month pregnant lady whose husband passes away. She then has to raise her baby without her husband.
This adds a whole new dimension to me thinking that I have problems. Yeah, the mister and I get into arguments but at least he is around to get mad at. I think about getting the nursery ready for BabyBoy and I dream about my mom knitting a blanket for him, just like she did for me and my sister. She is not here to take advice from nor to get on my nerves. There is no way to get her back.
All of this could make you sad and make you stop reading. But for me, it is a healing process. It is a time for learning. It is healing to know that I am not the only one in the world who has lost a loved one and has to move on with life. I learn about how other women have survived without a baby, a husband, or a mom.
In all that, we figure it out and find our own truths.
Who know that in the mist of all those selfies, I would find #technology teaching me truths of life.
Friday, September 26, 2014
It is that time again. Even though I hate to do it, I must clean up the blog roll and remove any links that have not been updated in six months are more. They are good reference for those who want to read more about riding your bike across America or other blogs that I have found interesting along the way.