Monday, February 8, 2016


Reading has always been a part of my life.  I enjoy reading and going to new places, experiencing emotions, and getting a different perspective.

Most recently I read Goldfinch, a Pulitzer Prize winner for fiction.  Initially I did not know how I would read all 776 pages of the book; but once I started, I loved every-single-perfectly-worded-sentence. Over the weekend I finished reading The Notorious RBG.  Justice Ginsberg is inspirational and firm in getting equal rights for all- and I love that she can do 20 push-ups (I cannot even do 20 push-ups).

 My hope is to impress on the boys the importance of reading and learning.  The big boys have started reading book series and I often have to remind Jon to stop reading and finish his other homework.  Or, to put his book down and let the dentist check his teeth.  

Nate has started crawling to his bookshelf and bringing me books to read to him.  He will get in my lap, get cozy, and smile as we flip the pages.  He lights up with a smile, clap his hands, and laughs as we turn the pages. Reading the same book three times in a row never gets old when I read them to my children.

Nook has a free book Friday and I have been downloading those.  I am always on the look out for a new book to read.  If you have any suggestions, send them my way. 

Friday, January 22, 2016

12 Months

My baby boy is now one year old. Nathaniel has a few words in his repertoire but his most used are "this" and "that" and he points.  

The things that melts my heart the most is when he crawls to the book shelf and brings me a book to read. I love that he smiles at hearing the story and claps when we get to the end.  As a reader, I love that I have passed this enjoyment on to him.

Of course the cutest thing Nate does is "ojitos y besitos" (cute eyes and kisses)where he blinks his eyes and blows kisses.

This past year I have learned that being a mother brings an explosion of love to my heart along with some not so glamours moments of getting peed on. Definitely the highs are more extreme than the lows so that the lows do not even seem to matter. 

This week I am 28 weeks pregnant with Bobbie, and start my third trimester.  At the forefront of my thoughts is: How am I going to get more sleep?  I must admit that I am exhausted from chasing around Nate and caring an extra belly around.  In fifteen months from now, I will be gushing with pride when my second little man turns one.

Friday, January 8, 2016


When we first won custody of the older boyz, I was trying to figure out how I was going to manage my growing family.  At times it can be a bit overwhelming with managing homework, tutoring pick-up, and everything else involved in a home. Let's just say that I am not shy about asking for help. It is something that I do not mention because I think it sounds snobby, but my family has a nanny. This week was a perfect example of why she is such a big asset for us.

Da boyz had dentist appointments.  That left me with figuring out: dinner, caring for Nate, homework, reading projects, and getting to the dentist. It was somewhat comforting knowing that even the nanny commented, "It is a struggle getting an older boy started on homework, helping him with homework, getting dinner ready for Nate, and feeding a squirming baby.  Now I know why you have me."

Over the past few months we have had four different nannies.  Our most recent nanny seems to get our family the most because she has two children of her own and knows what needs to be done in a house. I hope I am not speaking too soon but this situation is working for all of us. 

Now with Bobbie on the way, I am not sure how the flow of things will work.  Believe me, I will be the first to schedule the nanny, if only so I can squeeze in a nap.

Monday, January 4, 2016


Dear Mom,

Do you believe it? From the view you have, I bet you could see it coming.    We still have a lot of questions like: Why would a person get married in the church, take an vow to love your partner in good times and in the bad, in sickness and in health, and then decide you do not want to take care of your partner?  

We are all still in total and complete shock that Lydia would move out and leave Dad alone- again.  I never saw it coming.  The part that hurts worse is that I had taken her in as my bonus mom and even started teaching da boyz to call her Grammy. We accepted her and her family as our family.  And now she is gone. 

In her mind she is justified and has said that God is her judge not me or my sister.  Of course, her story is different from ours but you can see the truth from up there.  I know that all I do is for my dad- and that is to get him better. 

Times are definitely trying.  Caring around an extra 13 pounds of Bobbie (I am now 25 weeks pregnant.), holding a 20 pound Nate, on a sprained ankle has not been fun and quite exhausting. Coordinating hospital visitation, tutoring and homework, supper, and sleep time has challenged me and has taken a bit for me to adjust.  I went from no kids to three kids and one on the way.  I wonder how other moms manage and survive.  Is it only me that have these burdens?

The thing that keeps me sane is knowing that God will only give me what I can handle.  That gives me peace.  When I need rest, I will finally close my eyes to sleep.

You must only be seeing blue skies and temporary pain; while I see turmoil.  Please send our family peace and hope. I will remember your perseverance and strong will as we get Dad back up on his feet. 

I love you, Mom!

Barbie, #2

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

11 Months

Often I am reminded of how time flies and to enjoy Nate while he is little. With intention, I do this daily. This months pictures was hard to take because Nate was moving, pulling the sticker off the elephant, flipping through his books and crawling all over the room. Although he is not looking at the camera, this was the best picture of the bunch. He definitely keeps me on my toes.

Though I have said that I never could have imagined myself as a stay-at-home mom, I am enjoying and cherishing every moment watching Nathaniel grow.  The key is to be open to see what is happening in front of you and not let the busyness of the day take over. 

We play with cars and not that I know how to "play cars", I just roll the wheels over Nate's back and it makes him laugh.  That's all I want to do it make him smile and laugh.

With an open schedule, we can go visit Grand-dad in rehab/physical therapy. (Not the the twelve step rehab, just to be clear.)  Nate lights up the room and my Dad goes crazy.  My Dad acts like a kid again and loves seeing his grand-son tear up the room.

Recently, I had the piano tuned and have since kept the keys uncovered.  Nate will crawl into the office and start tickling the ivory.  Who knows, we might have another Mozart in the works. 

My days end with nursing Nathaniel to sleep and praying over him.  I pray that God will bless my sons, guard them and protect them daily.  I pray that God will remain in their hearts and in their lives daily. I pray that God will be preparing a Godly spouse for my sons. I pray that they sleep well and fall asleep quick. I wonder if Nate will be active and like to run, bike and swim like his parents; or if he will be a homebody. Every night I shed tears of joy as I watch my baby fall asleep in my arms. 

Tuesday, December 1, 2015


Parenting and being a mother is everything everyone says it will be.  The trick is finding new and creative ways of describing it. This is difficult for me because I do not consider myself a writer nor am I very creative. I am a big reader and enjoy learning by what other have to say and then I do my best to find my own words. 

Today was a big day in our house, all da boyz now have their own bedrooms.  When did they get so big and where is all the time going?  

When I meet da boyz, Jon was in the third grade and Joe in kindergarten.  They were tiny boyz and we would all snuggle up in a king size bed at night.  This worked for us for about six months before someone started getting pushed off the bed, usually da mister. Over the years I have seen them grow and mature.  One summer they are ordering from the children's menu and the next summer we do not even look at the kid's menu.

Now that Nathaniel has transitioned to his own room- in his own crib, I realized that all my boyz will be in their own rooms and sleeping in their own beds.  I am glad that my boys are growing and becoming independent but I must admit I miss the night time snuggles. 

Sunday, November 22, 2015

10 Month and Co-Sleeping

My baby boy is ten months old today. He is crawling and lifting himself up.  The past three weeks have been brutal with teething but we made it past the initial hump of four new teeth.

When Nate was born I was good about nursing him then putting him down in his pack-n-play located in our bed room.  Somewhere around month three, da mister suggested I just leave him in bed with me because it would be much easier and I would get more sleep. And it was initially.  

Then the nights turned into day time naps and  there you have it, we were co-sleeping.  Since I am a light sleeper, this has been hard on me because Nate would wake every few hours to nurse or just move and disturb my sleep.  I have been a walking zombie and this sleep pattern was not working for me. 

I tried exactly two times to let him cry it out but I could not take him screaming. So what does an exhausted mother do?  For me, I was tired.  My arms hurt from carrying around a cranky baby and I finally broke down.  

This past week I have endured the cries during nap time and on Friday evening I placed him in his crib for night time sleep.  Surprisingly, the night time sleep has been quiet even though not much sleep is really happening at this point. 

It is hard to hear him cry but I know that we are learning to self sooth (for me to) and develop better sleeping behaviors. What gives me hope is my pediatrician said that no parent that has ever done the cry out method has ever been sorry that they did. 

There you have it folks.  Barbie's guild to getting more sleep and getting stuff done.