Wednesday, November 16, 2016
My precious baby boy Bobby is seven months old.
No words can explain how much joy I feel being a mother, not only to Bobby, but to all my boys. While I type this with sleepy eyes, I know that this tired is only temporary. I know that my boys are health and able bodied. I am grateful for their health and the never ending "mom's".
No lie, this Thanksgiving is hard without my parents. It is the first Thanksgiving without both of them here. At times, I want to cry (like now) because I miss them. Then I remind myself of my family. My boys. My family. My sister. That is nothing to be sad about. I remind myself how thankful I am to have health happy children. Life really is good.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Before I had children, I would often hear parents talk about what great joy their children brought them. It is only when you have children yourself do you truly understand the true meaning of having your heart swell with joy when you witness your child grow.
The moment Bobby rolled over the first time, I cried. I even asked myself why I was crying. It was so amazing watching him learn something new and to see the expression on his face.
All by himself, my fearless child Nate, climbs the slide and slides down. He walks into the school building like a big boy and rides train rides. As I saw the train turn the corner with my baby, well I guess I should say toddler, I realized he is growing and being more independent. I know I will always cherish his tiny waves and hugs. No matter how tired I am, I love to hear Nathaniel screaming for me, "Mom". I never ever want that to stop.
I love being a mother and raising my children. There are times when I am not sure what to do to help or teach my children, but my instincts always kick in and lead me in the right direction. That way is straight to my heart with joy.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
The Big B is six months old. He is finally in his crib and sleeping upstairs with his big brother Nate. Finally, I am getting more sleep and playing catch up with the Zzz's.
I may have forgotten to mention that Nate started a Mother's Day Out program/pre-school two days a week. This gives me two days with one-on-one time with this little guy. It is always a joy to see him laugh, smile, and play. I am also the mom that buys a chalk board to write the "First Day of School" and then forgets actually write it and take the pictures. Well, it is a memory I will have to save in my heart.
Every post I vow to post more often. Daily, I write posts in my head but never find the time to sit down to type them up. Even though I am a stay-at-home mom, I do not understand how people how the time to post or even participate in so much social media. My choice is to be a mom. In my spare time and when the boys get off to school, I will post as time allows.
Until then, I am enjoying watching my boys learn and grow.
Friday, September 16, 2016
Yeah, I did it! I posted sooner than one month. Here is my precious baby boy Bobby at five months. He is so sweet. He doesn't quite sleep through the night, he laughs and babbles, he rolls and has started to eat rice oatmeal.
My baby boys keep me on my toes. Nate climbs anything and everything. Nate pokes at Bobby's eyes. In Nate's defense he is saying, "eye's" and showing his eyes to me.
Nate started a mother's day out program and I get one-on-one time with Bobby. I enjoy bonding with Bobby and nursing him so we can be close. We laugh together and goo at each other. Such a mother's love.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Each month I vow to post in between the month where Bobby ages a month. Each month life and stuff gets in the way. To touch lightly on the "stuff that gets in the way", I have hired a second lawyer to fight with my dad's widow and for the past week I have had half a house full of inhabitants, including me, with a stomach bug and junk coming out from both end. Is that a good enough excuse from not hitting the blogger world?
Now that I can walk with out getting dizzy I am back to going through my fathers things. It is hard and I cry a lot. Each box opens a new memory. Not just of my father's memory but of my mother. It is hard and my heart is heavy. I am sad.
I think it is not fair that my children will not have grandparents on grandparents day. I hate that my friends with children can go on a date with their spouse while their parents babysit- for free.
The recent holiday brought my brother-in-laws to town to celebrate an honor ceremony for my father. It was special to have such close relatives give my sister a flag and be able to make Dad's grave site holy ground. This gives me such peace and closure to the fiasco that occurred at his funeral.
This blog follows my sad heart. When I post next, in 4 days, for Bobby's 5th birthday, I will be more lively. Promise.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
My beautiful baby boy makes me smile and feel so gracious every. single. day. I thank God that He has given me Bobby because he is my every day reminder of my father.
(Did I really not post in a month?!)
Bobby is growing so much and so quickly. A few days of the week he sleeps through the night. He babbles and smiles, kicks and rolls. Nate loves helping me with his baby brother and he even points out his eyes, ears, and nose. Not always so gently.
Life takes over but I still manage to get a work out in, manage my father's estate, and get all the boys ready and off to school. Nate will be starting a mother's day out program next month. I am a firm believer in helping my children socialize and get adjusted to a daily routine. We love to read, sing and play outside. I could go on and on about the joys of seeing my children grow and learn.
Bobby officially has his own gym membership. That means I can get back to yoga classes and spin classes. Maybe I am on track to a somewhat normal life again. Sorta.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
The worst job I have ever had is to be the executor of my father's estate. Each time I contact the bank or an institution, I am transferred to Survivor Services, in which they begin the conversation with, "I am so sorry for your loss." This is were I break down and cry. You know the ugly cry where your whole body shakes and snot drips from your nose? I cry so hard that I cannot speak the words, "Thank you". Each time, it is a reminder that my father is not here with me any more.
I am taking it slow. Each day I give myself one task to do for my father. Some days it is too difficult that I skip the next day or even the rest of the week. I am lucky that my mister does not complain about me being sad or staying in my pajamas until noon.
Each day I discover a new tragedy to add to the grief of loosing my father. The latest is the my father's wife (not my mother) emptied all his bank accounts and took off with all his money. Yup, you guessed it, this is a real life version of American Greed. I am in total shock that someone could be that greedy, that someone would actually marry for money, and that someone who was so nice in the beginning had ulterior motives.
However, I took an oath to fulfill my duties as executor to the best of my ability. I have always said that I would honor Dad and do the best I could to fulfill his wishes. With the strength of the good Lord above, this is what I plan to do- stay strong.