12 Months

My baby boy is now one year old. Nathaniel has a few words in his repertoire but his most used are "this" and "that" and he points.  

The things that melts my heart the most is when he crawls to the book shelf and brings me a book to read. I love that he smiles at hearing the story and claps when we get to the end.  As a reader, I love that I have passed this enjoyment on to him.

Of course the cutest thing Nate does is "ojitos y besitos" (cute eyes and kisses)where he blinks his eyes and blows kisses.

This past year I have learned that being a mother brings an explosion of love to my heart along with some not so glamours moments of getting peed on. Definitely the highs are more extreme than the lows so that the lows do not even seem to matter. 

This week I am 28 weeks pregnant with Bobbie, and start my third trimester.  At the forefront of my thoughts is: How am I going to get more sleep?  I must admit that I am exhausted from chasing around Nate and caring an extra belly around.  In fifteen months from now, I will be gushing with pride when my second little man turns one.

Help!

When we first won custody of the older boyz, I was trying to figure out how I was going to manage my growing family.  At times it can be a bit overwhelming with managing homework, tutoring pick-up, and everything else involved in a home. Let's just say that I am not shy about asking for help. It is something that I do not mention because I think it sounds snobby, but my family has a nanny. This week was a perfect example of why she is such a big asset for us.

Da boyz had dentist appointments.  That left me with figuring out: dinner, caring for Nate, homework, reading projects, and getting to the dentist. It was somewhat comforting knowing that even the nanny commented, "It is a struggle getting an older boy started on homework, helping him with homework, getting dinner ready for Nate, and feeding a squirming baby.  Now I know why you have me."

Over the past few months we have had four different nannies.  Our most recent nanny seems to get our family the most because she has two children of her own and knows what needs to be done in a house. I hope I am not speaking too soon but this situation is working for all of us. 

Now with Bobbie on the way, I am not sure how the flow of things will work.  Believe me, I will be the first to schedule the nanny, if only so I can squeeze in a nap.

Shock

Dear Mom,

Do you believe it? From the view you have, I bet you could see it coming.    We still have a lot of questions like: Why would a person get married in the church, take an vow to love your partner in good times and in the bad, in sickness and in health, and then decide you do not want to take care of your partner?  

We are all still in total and complete shock that Lydia would move out and leave Dad alone- again.  I never saw it coming.  The part that hurts worse is that I had taken her in as my bonus mom and even started teaching da boyz to call her Grammy. We accepted her and her family as our family.  And now she is gone. 

In her mind she is justified and has said that God is her judge not me or my sister.  Of course, her story is different from ours but you can see the truth from up there.  I know that all I do is for my dad- and that is to get him better. 

Times are definitely trying.  Caring around an extra 13 pounds of Bobbie (I am now 25 weeks pregnant.), holding a 20 pound Nate, on a sprained ankle has not been fun and quite exhausting. Coordinating hospital visitation, tutoring and homework, supper, and sleep time has challenged me and has taken a bit for me to adjust.  I went from no kids to three kids and one on the way.  I wonder how other moms manage and survive.  Is it only me that have these burdens?

The thing that keeps me sane is knowing that God will only give me what I can handle.  That gives me peace.  When I need rest, I will finally close my eyes to sleep.

You must only be seeing blue skies and temporary pain; while I see turmoil.  Please send our family peace and hope. I will remember your perseverance and strong will as we get Dad back up on his feet. 

I love you, Mom!

Barbie, #2