LivingStrong

It has been said that the first year is the hardest. One year later, I can agree with that statement. I never would have imagined life without Mom and even now, my life feels like it is missing her. The dinner table is missing a table setting and there is an empty spot in pictures where she used to sit.

The holidays were horrifically sad, but we survived. My birthday, her birthday, and my parent’s anniversary was tearful, but life goes on. I am not sure how, but somehow it does. There is a moment when time changes. One day I miss her, one day I think I can do life without her, and other days when I sit and cry.

Mother’s day, I broke down. I sat on an airplane and balled my eyes out. I hear my friends say they are going to lunch with their mom, and I get sad. I wish I had Mom to go to lunch with. I hear my friends call their mom, and I get jealousy. I wish I had Mom to call.

Mom was a model of will power and instilled in me the determination to achieving anything my heart desires. She showed me how to give freely and love everyone. Because of her, I rode my bike across America. I know she is up in heaven watching over me and guiding all my moves.

A year has gone by and I miss Mom. When I close my eyes, I try to remember her as the healthy vibrant lady that would hug me tight. Her unconditional love and constant encouragement turned me into the person I am today. She makes me want to liveSTRONG everyday.

The Hat

One margarita

Two margarita

Three margarita

Four...

Is the hat wearing me or am I wearing the hat?

No Monkey Business

Ol’ Herm, I don’t know how he does it. After three marriages he still says he wants two more, a wild one and one to settle down with. He will tell you he lost half of everything three times, plus two homes, and yet he still wants to do it again.

One divorce, three months of e-harmony dating, and a FB break-up is enough for me. You know what a FaceBook break up is, right? It is when you wake up one day and your status has been changed to "single" and you have been deleted as a friend. I thought I had been through enough electronic break-ups but this one had to top the list.

There is no monkey business with my heart and I want to win at the game of love. Knowing full and well that it will do me no good to bench myself and add my name to the injured reserve list, I am gathering my shattered heart in hopes that I will mend in time for the start of the season.

Not Funny

There was a time where I wanted to write about love. You know, give you some insight to my love life in hopes that Barbie and her Bike would find love, get married, have a baby, and live happily ever after.

In truth, the story goes something like this.

I was in love and then ended up with heart broken.
Then I was in love... and then alone.
Repeat.
It seems like this has happened a few too many times. All the stories are basically the same.

I wanted to put a funny spin on the people I dated, how I meet them, and even the break-ups. But, I just ain't funny anymore. And, you know what else? Love hurts.

You might tell me that if you fall you get back up. Normally, I would tell myself that too. This time, I didn't just fall and break my handle bars. This time my frame is cracked, my wheels are bent, my spokes and gears are broken. My physical injuries are worse and my heart needs some physical therapy.

The rainbow connecting the two islands reminds me of two hearts connecting. I can see it out there but it is not in my reach. Maybe there is love above me but I haven't reached out to grab the pot of gold. Oh, I don't know what the H-E-double hockey sticks I am blogging about. The sea is full of sharks. There is no happy ending in this entry.