As I read through the new feed on Facebook, I sat on the couch and put myself through a self-sabotage session. “Happy Mother’s Day” was all over the place. I tried to make the best of the situation and organized a family day at our house, but Nina cancelled. My bonus mom (bonus mom is my new word for step-mother) just cancelled Mother’s Day and I started missing My Mom terribly.
A Half dozen close friends wished me Happy Mother’s Day but I feel far from a mother. A mother to Roxy, yes. A hopeful and wishing I were an expecting mother, yes. A step-mother, yes. But, not a real mother. Which begs the questions: What is a real mother?
The list of endless responsibilities a mother has is endless but the one that tops my list is a friend. This is where I start missing My Mom again. No amount of floor tiling, walking Roxy, or cooking can erase the feeling. There seems to be no replacement.
So yet again, I put myself through another self-sabotage session and I started going through blogs from the CrossRoads riders for 2014. As traditional has it, the ride in LA always starts on Mother’s Day. I remember 2009 and the excitement of dipping my wheel in the Pacific.
I could sit here all day being sad or get back on my bike to cheer myself up.