Tuesday, July 13, 2010

My Next Wedding

The topic of a spouse and a wedding has been high in conversation only because I realize how ill my mother is. I want her to see me at this monumental moment in my life. At times it can be annoying to have the consent questions but I am getting wittier with my responses.

While at my parents house one of those prescription commercials came on and it showed a daughter trying on wedding dresses while the Mom was nearby watching.

Mom says: You know what Barbie; I never got to pick out your wedding dress with you. You picked it out and didn’t even let me see it.

Barbie says nothing and rolls her eyes.

Mom says: And then I didn’t have a ride to the church. Your Dad drove everyone around and I was stuck at the house.

Barbie says nothing as steam begins to boil, all the while trying to keep her composure.

Mom says: I see you wearing a suite for your next wedding.

Barbie says in a nice but firm tone: Mom, first I have to find a guy that wants to get married. Then I can wear a fitted floor length dress. I do NOT want another big wedding. The last wedding was ALL for you and I do NOT want to do that again.

(Slight pause to wait for reaction.) In the silence Barbie continues, I want to be married on the beach.

This was a much easier conversation than expected. She seems more willing to step back and let me live my life. After all, it will be MY wedding and there isn’t even a groom yet.


  1. What the heck is the matter with the guys in San Antonio? Why isn't there a line a mile long at your front door?

  2. FWIW: I've officiated at seven weddings over the years. Give me a call when you're ready.


    PS: Bob, I don't understand either!