My Kid

It is what all parents think.  This I know to be true.  I have the cutest kid ever.

This week I am 37 weeks pregnant and my one-on-one time with Nathaniel is slowly diminishing. This morning I woke up at 5:30 AM so I could drink my morning coffee, wake up, and be alert for when Nate woke up. 

It is harder these days to bend over and walk with him because my baby bump is in the way.  It is more challenging to chase him around at the park and even pick him up and carry him all day.  My secret is to take a nap when he naps so that I can feel more rested.  With sleep, anything is more possible. 

I have given up on lunch dates and play dates so I can save my energy for Nate and evening with da boyz. As I get older, or should I say wiser, I am learning my limits and keeping things in perspective with what is important.  My friends, if they are truly friends, will understand.

So for now, I must run.  My baby is pulling my heart stings.  I want to hug and kiss him and give him all my love. 

Grateful

This prayer is being shared on social media and it reminds me to remain calm in the craziness of my life. It is hard to rank the ten items because I have complained about every thing listed.  When I look closely, it is the lack of sleep that makes me grumpy and thus I start complaining about everything else. 

 Nate wakes up with his dad at 5:30 AM.  Every night I pray that he would sleep in a bit longer but it never happens.  Nate seems to like the extra time with dad and enjoys seeing his big brothers off to school. Often I find myself counting down the minutes until nap time so I can squeeze in a nap myself. 

Untimely, I am reminded of the baby I do have, the baby on the way, and the two boys that are growing into smart young men.  The boys in the house are health and playful and I remind myself to forget about the to-do-list and have fun. 

My house is full of love, though messy at times.  I step back and examine all that I am grateful for and I know that there will be a time when I get more sleep and I will have all the time in the world to explore more roads on my bike. 

Fiesta Baby

I promised myself that I would only post monthly pictures of Nathaniel up until he was one year only.  It seems fitting to post today because he is 13 months old and I am 32 weeks pregnant.  

The past two weeks I felt overwhelmed with the thought of having a toddler and a baby in the house; but this week the idea has settled in my heart and I feel more at ease. It may have something to do with me enrolling Nathaniel in a Mother's Day Out program two times a week and having a reliable and dedicated nanny to help me with the three other boys in the house (four other boys if you count da mister). 

The new baby idea became more fun as I downloaded the Fiesta app.  As the rumor goes, my mother attended the day parade while she was having contractions and only went to the hospital to give birth to me after the parade was over.  The thought of having a fiesta baby brings a new level of excitement to the game. My due date is April 18 and Fiesta officially starts on April 14. 

My hope is that I have a fiesta baby to always have a fiesta birthday to celebrate along with. One must always know that the city of San Antonio gets together to help celebrate your birthday when it falls during fiesta.  

Reading

Reading has always been a part of my life.  I enjoy reading and going to new places, experiencing emotions, and getting a different perspective.

Most recently I read Goldfinch, a Pulitzer Prize winner for fiction.  Initially I did not know how I would read all 776 pages of the book; but once I started, I loved every-single-perfectly-worded-sentence. Over the weekend I finished reading The Notorious RBG.  Justice Ginsberg is inspirational and firm in getting equal rights for all- and I love that she can do 20 push-ups (I cannot even do 20 push-ups).

 My hope is to impress on the boys the importance of reading and learning.  The big boys have started reading book series and I often have to remind Jon to stop reading and finish his other homework.  Or, to put his book down and let the dentist check his teeth.  

Nate has started crawling to his bookshelf and bringing me books to read to him.  He will get in my lap, get cozy, and smile as we flip the pages.  He lights up with a smile, clap his hands, and laughs as we turn the pages. Reading the same book three times in a row never gets old when I read them to my children.

Nook has a free book Friday and I have been downloading those.  I am always on the look out for a new book to read.  If you have any suggestions, send them my way. 

12 Months

My baby boy is now one year old. Nathaniel has a few words in his repertoire but his most used are "this" and "that" and he points.  

The things that melts my heart the most is when he crawls to the book shelf and brings me a book to read. I love that he smiles at hearing the story and claps when we get to the end.  As a reader, I love that I have passed this enjoyment on to him.

Of course the cutest thing Nate does is "ojitos y besitos" (cute eyes and kisses)where he blinks his eyes and blows kisses.

This past year I have learned that being a mother brings an explosion of love to my heart along with some not so glamours moments of getting peed on. Definitely the highs are more extreme than the lows so that the lows do not even seem to matter. 

This week I am 28 weeks pregnant with Bobbie, and start my third trimester.  At the forefront of my thoughts is: How am I going to get more sleep?  I must admit that I am exhausted from chasing around Nate and caring an extra belly around.  In fifteen months from now, I will be gushing with pride when my second little man turns one.

Help!

When we first won custody of the older boyz, I was trying to figure out how I was going to manage my growing family.  At times it can be a bit overwhelming with managing homework, tutoring pick-up, and everything else involved in a home. Let's just say that I am not shy about asking for help. It is something that I do not mention because I think it sounds snobby, but my family has a nanny. This week was a perfect example of why she is such a big asset for us.

Da boyz had dentist appointments.  That left me with figuring out: dinner, caring for Nate, homework, reading projects, and getting to the dentist. It was somewhat comforting knowing that even the nanny commented, "It is a struggle getting an older boy started on homework, helping him with homework, getting dinner ready for Nate, and feeding a squirming baby.  Now I know why you have me."

Over the past few months we have had four different nannies.  Our most recent nanny seems to get our family the most because she has two children of her own and knows what needs to be done in a house. I hope I am not speaking too soon but this situation is working for all of us. 

Now with Bobbie on the way, I am not sure how the flow of things will work.  Believe me, I will be the first to schedule the nanny, if only so I can squeeze in a nap.

Shock

Dear Mom,

Do you believe it? From the view you have, I bet you could see it coming.    We still have a lot of questions like: Why would a person get married in the church, take an vow to love your partner in good times and in the bad, in sickness and in health, and then decide you do not want to take care of your partner?  

We are all still in total and complete shock that Lydia would move out and leave Dad alone- again.  I never saw it coming.  The part that hurts worse is that I had taken her in as my bonus mom and even started teaching da boyz to call her Grammy. We accepted her and her family as our family.  And now she is gone. 

In her mind she is justified and has said that God is her judge not me or my sister.  Of course, her story is different from ours but you can see the truth from up there.  I know that all I do is for my dad- and that is to get him better. 

Times are definitely trying.  Caring around an extra 13 pounds of Bobbie (I am now 25 weeks pregnant.), holding a 20 pound Nate, on a sprained ankle has not been fun and quite exhausting. Coordinating hospital visitation, tutoring and homework, supper, and sleep time has challenged me and has taken a bit for me to adjust.  I went from no kids to three kids and one on the way.  I wonder how other moms manage and survive.  Is it only me that have these burdens?

The thing that keeps me sane is knowing that God will only give me what I can handle.  That gives me peace.  When I need rest, I will finally close my eyes to sleep.

You must only be seeing blue skies and temporary pain; while I see turmoil.  Please send our family peace and hope. I will remember your perseverance and strong will as we get Dad back up on his feet. 

I love you, Mom!

Barbie, #2