The “C” Word

We live in an f’ed world where mommy’s are gone because of cancer. Often I beg God for an answer although I know it is for reason I do not understand. Maybe this is the time where I stand on my soap box and ramble about the state of our society, air pollution, and the presidential election; all the while thinking that God is using cancer to wipe out society and give us a do-over like He did with Noah and the flood.

The beginning of the week was going smooth and I thought it was going to okay dealing with Mom’s anniversary.   Wearing her necklace was a personal reminder of her and I felt like she was close to my heart. 

And then it happened… Thursday morning I had a total breakdown.  I wish it did not happen at work but a breakdown is not something you plan.  A friend in the hall must have seen the despair in my eyes.  She scooped me out the door and hugged me while I cried.

The local grocery store had helium and I was able to get a helium balloon.  I did not want to be stingy and get a dozen knowing that I would release them and there is a helium shortage.  I watched the pink balloon float away in the clouds hoping it would make its way up to Mom.  I placed a dozen pink roses arranged in a bouquet next to the flowers my father gave Mom and wondered if I should have bought red instead.  I balled my eyes out while standing in front of her grave.  I could have stayed there all day to be with her but I knew that I was emotionally torturing myself and I needed to go.

Have you noticed, it was a hard week.  I wanted to get the hurt out so we could enjoy a cool weekend with da boyz.  My next post will be more up beat- I promise.

Two Years Later

No, my name is not Mary but I am going to wear her necklace to honor her and remember Mom. I wanted to do something special and different. The plan was to get a bouquet of helium balloons and release them on Friday, while in the cemetary. Did you know there is a shortage of helium all across the nation? How did this happen and who do I need to call to get some helium ballons for my mom? How long have children gone without birthday helium balloons and why wasn't I notified sooner? Sorry Mom, you will have to get a traditional bouquest of flowers this year.

 

Two years later I reflect back on the passing of my mother. My family has been blessed with so much good that I can only believe that it is Mom guiding us. Dad is married, my sister is engaged. Doesn't my family know that it is time for my glory day. It is hard to share the spot light when my family has so much going on.  

 

Either way, I know my mom is smiling down on us and I know that she would love Ricky. He is super smart and researches stuff on DNA while I practice Fergie's dance moves. Ricky does really important eye doctor things and I try to figure out when I can get yoga, running, bike riding, Bible study and piano practice in my scheudle. Oh, and somehow I have managed to read seventy-three books since Christmas of last year. I am happy that Ricky is as active as I am and enjoys riding a bike; but it stinks that he is faster. Our personalities compliment each other and we get along great as long as we do what the other says to do.

 

Life is happening and it is good.

Couch Potato

It was one of those nights where all I wanted to do was sit in front of the television and "borrow" the pain medicine that Roxy refused to take. The recent cooler weather left me driving myself to work and not riding my bike. No miles make me sluggish.

 

 

First, I put on some long johns and snuggled up in some blankets. Then I proceeded to watch a weeks worth of "Chelsey Lately" and five episodes of "Honey Boo Boo Child". After that I started to watch the most recent episode of "Saturday Night Live". Let's just say, I love TIVO and the hours of commercial free television I can watch. A few hours later, I decided that "60 Minutes" would have to wait for another night.

 

 

I really need to spend more time in the cold weather and less time in front of the television. It seems like over kill when I wear an under armor shirt, ear warmers, leg warmers and booty covers to protect me from the cold wind. Or better thinking, I could setup my bike in front of the television and stay inside.

 

 

In punishment for being a couch potato all night, I sent myself to bed without dinner.

The Collar

 

There was a slight mishap with either the new dogie door or the seat belt when Roxy jumped into my car to greet me.  We ended up in the emergency vet clinic to remove her outer most nail on her right back paw.

 

 

The collar lasted for the duration of the pain medicine and soon after she wiggled her way out. The day after she was running around as if nothing had happened.

 

 

Aside from that, Roxy seems to like the new house especially since there is more yard to run in and more squires to chase up trees. 
Baby Girl is back to her ol' self.

 

We hired a dog runner to help get her run  on. Yes, a dog runner not dog walker.  I turned into a nervouse first time mom and typed an extensive list of insturctions, dietary information, and overall exercise regime; all the while reminding myself that

Baby Girl is

... a

... dog. 

 

Did I just say that out load?  What can I say?  I love my dog.

Conquer the Coast, 2012

We rode into the sunrise together.

 Completed 70 miles around Corpus Christ Bay area.  We celebrated at the end and proudly wore our medals.

My sister suprised us on the road and snaped a quick picture and celebrated with us at end finish line.

Reasons

There are many reasons why I love having Da Boyz with us. One of them is they remind me that we are each individuals.  You can see it in our feet.  

I said, “Joe, put your feet down” three times.  The third time I might have even yelled in a mad step-mother way.   Don’t judge me.  You would have done the same if you wanted your family picture to come out perfect, on the second take after a swollen eye incident.   As you can see, he did not listen.  I appreciate that he wants to be different and do something that no one else is doing.   

All this made me want to start a list of reasons why I love Da Boyz.

   There is always someone to cuddle with.

There is always someone to ride my bike with.

There is always someone to dance with.

I always have an audience to watch my next trick, whether it be throwing skittles in the air and catching them in my mouth or water skiing and wiping out. They really like the wiping out part.

They are happy with microwave pizza and I never have to cook.  Don’t judge me-again.  The closest we get to vegetables are croutons from salad. I gave up on forcing food that they don’t like.

The list goes on but I will save them for another post.  Things are pretty good here on my end.  When the roof crumbles in front of me because Da Boyz are jumping upstairs, I am reminded how blessed I am to have a new house and a family to fill it.

Narcistic

Maybe I am a bit narcistic. Facebook and this blog feed my thoughts that everyone wants to know what BarbieandherBike are doing, because my life is so darn interesting [insert sarcastic laugh].

BarbieandherBike are going places. Barbieandherbike@gmail.com facebook paged moved to BarbieandRicky, of course my name is first. Barbie and her Bike blog remain the same because I continue to take my bike along on life adventures.

Deactivating my facebook page has been freeing and my time has returned. I still write one liners in my head, which sum up my day; but then I realize how ridiculous it sounds that people would actually care about how Ricky and I spend every minute of our days, and then I decide not to post.

So, I will retreat to my blog. It is my outlet and my journey, for what I want to record in my life. It can be as private or public as I choose. It is my comfort zone, the place where I am the super star of my own life.